My stomach trying to use my small intestine as a noose. Everything is blurry. I'm doing one of two things: rocking back and forth on the floor or literally jumping up and down. Tonight it's jumping up and down playing air guitar. Anything to take my mind off the next few minutes.
5 minutes.
Sweat makes my face hot. Lips go a little numb. My cufflinks are doing push-ups, my pulse is so fast.
Lights down.
Suddenly it disappears. Brain goes quiet. Shoulders back. Knees sturdy. Fear left backstage. Anxiety back behind the curtain. Now there's the show. And nothing else. There's no time for my bullshit. There's a show to do. Now there's only trust in the process, in preparation, and the immensely talented people who built this show from a white piece of paper.
They need a pillar. Be one.
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