Oak Trees

It's tough to know in advance whether you're going to get along with someone. There are contributing factors, extenuating circumstances, and confounding variables. While I'm not convinced that people aren't quantifiable, I'm sure that we, thus far, haven't figured out how to do it. After a quarter century of existing, the sheer volume of data on any given individual must be unimaginable. You'd need a Microsoft Office Voltron to cook up that spreadsheet, let alone compare it to someone else's Venn Diagram. I've been spending a lot of time trying to figure out what makes me compatible with another person, especially in friendship. Sex shakes the snow globe of life and is beyond the scope of this investigation. What makes for a good friend?

In lieu of a useful scientific diagnosis, I'm using some field medicine. This is not an exhaustive study, nor is it academic in any important sense.

There's a lot of jargon in that first paragraph. I feel like I'm writing like an asshole.

Let me be frank.

Some people have a new group of friends every few months. I've had things in my refrigerator longer than their most enduring friendships. Being around people who can't hold down friends is tough. It reveals so much about their character; how they deal with obstacles and pressure, how they function. It points to a lack of loyalty, respect, and character. Goodness wants company. It calls to friends like a dinner bell.

Maybe this is all self-righteous bullshit. I haven't treated my friends well throughout the years. I've lied, been cold, and cruel. Maybe I'm just lucky they've stuck around for ten years. My decade friends know me well enough to call me on my shit. They know when I'm falling into a pattern, and can remind me of what my enduring character is and ought to be. They've seen all the sides of me and know which one I want to bring to the fore. They've stood by me when they had every right to walk away and I am better for their kindness. If you always surround yourself with fresh friends, growth is stunted. You become a potted plant. Your roots get tangled at the bottom, never penetrating deeply into anything. Oak trees spend centuries shoulder to shoulder.